2 days (12/15/14)

In 2 days I will have my ultrasound. The one I have been anxiously awaiting. I've been obsessed with reading miscarriage stats and always looking for blood when I go to the bathroom, but I just need to get to wednesday. It's no guarantee that everything will be fine in the end, but I will be so relieved to see a little heartbeat and see my baby. I'm so afraid to let myself fall in love with this baby until I can see that the baby is alive and well. Last night Clara told me that she was worried that something would happen to this baby like Emery! She said a prayer last night that I want to share. She has really been into saying her "hands prayers". She folds her hands and closes her eyes and says whatever is in her heart. Last night it was this "dear god, please watch over Cilla and Emery and all the babies. I wish they were here with us, but I know they are with you, please take care of the baby in mommy's tummy. I want this baby here and so does mommy. We love you baby and I don't care if you're a boy or a girl, I will still love you". I started crying! It was so sweet!! I feel I've done something right to have a child with such love in her heart. I don't want to let clara or anyone else down and just want to keep my baby safe. I'm sure after Wednesday after we hear everything is fine I will let myself be really, really excited! All the signs that things are moving along are there so that is comforting. Here I am at 7 weeks 6 days (just shy of the 8 week mark).

It's really hard to hide my tummy if I don't wear loose clothing! I can't believe how big I am!